If you’ve ever watched those hilarious home video clips shows with Harry Hill or in the old days Jeremy Beadle, and wondered who the clumsy ee-jits are on the clips, then wonder no more. Kev Bodey handed the missus the camera and told her to film his impressive downhill slalom style. The results weren’t what Kev, or his missus, had in mind. Surprisingly this was not the most embarrassing moment of Kev’s week, but fortunately for him no-one was on hand to record his misplaced header leading to West Kirby’s 2nd goal yesterday.
Welcome to the news section, where you’ll find the latest posts about what’s going on in and around the club.
The next committee meeting has a lot on its plate following the Vets’ home defeat to Halkyn Vets this Saturday, when the referee had to caution not one, but two of the home side. McNay’s yellow card for dissent may not surprise many, this savage tackle from Robin Kendall will shock.
To see a true Oldham fan’s view, go about 50 seconds into the clip …
My favourite memory of Bert was a 4th XI fixture at Huddersfield again, decades before the M62.
As always the Amateurs had provided some entertainment for us, this year in the form of a movie! While the projector was being set up Bert and I and a few others were enjoying a pint in the ‘undarkened’ part of the bar. When all was ready Dick Heron, who I think was 1st XI captain at the time, rushed over to exhort us to join the group.
Slowly Bert turned his head and looking at Dick over his right shoulder from his chair said ’ Dickie lad, I’m a doer not a viewer’. We carried on with our pints!
Happy New Year to all
An extract from the Ramblers Book……
Bert Andrew was a well-known barrister and judge, a popular character with a great sense of humour, and a raconteur of risqué stories who loved to lead a singsong at every opportunity. Bert was equally noted for his total inability to arrive at a match in time for the kick-off. No-one can remember him lining up for the start of a game. It seems to have been the same on the Northern circuit, where he was known as ‘the late Mr Andrew’.
In October 1955 the Committee decided to send Bert a letter about his lateness, which obviously had no effect, as a second letter was written the following January after he had again been late, this time at Manchester GS. As punishment, he was dropped from the 2nd XI for the next two games. In 1960 it was reported at a committee meeting that for the fifth time Bert Andrews had held up the start of a recent match through being late. The only solution was to tell him the kick-offs are half-an-hour earlier than arranged. But Tim White, then team Secretary, said this still made no difference.
At half-time in a game at Bootham School there was a team discussion about how the ball was bouncing all over the place. Barry Burns mentioned that it was similar to their practice balls, to which Bert responded, ‘I wouldn’t know, I’ve never arrived early enough for a kick-in.’
At Malvern in 1963 he arrived at the school in good time, but was still late for the match as he had gone off to get measured for a suit. Another time he claimed that he was late because his wife, Nettie, had burnt his trousers. A week later, at Oswestry School, Bert appeared after half-time. The excuses were endless.
Playing Crewe Nomads at a very smart Nantwich Stadium, Ramblers’ 4th XI kicked off without Bert. It was Peter Gray’s first game for the Club and he was startled to witness the arrival of Bert just before half-time. He was in his football kit, but wearing Hush Puppies, claiming he had lost his boots. It certainly succeeded in putting off the Nomads. Held to a 1-1 draw, thanks to Terry Needham performing heroics in goal, Crewe chose not to renew the fixture.
When Nicko Williams first saw Bert he could not believe his reputation as a really quick winger, ‘as he was of seriously unathletic build. He arrived ten minutes after the kick-off, which I later gathered was par, or even slightly under for the course, played for ten minutes, was dreadfully ill in the ditch which separated the two pitches and then proceeded to play a blinder.’
On his first team talk when he became captain of the 4th team in 1968, he announced to the startled players that the team would now be playing ‘push and run’. ‘This means I push and you run.’
Off the pitch, he was renowned in the changing room for sitting ‘bollock-naked and holding court’, and for breaking into song at any opportunity. At the Colwall Park Hotel in Malvern he was on a table, singing his favourite Alouette and performing an Irish jig. The landlord took exception and threw everybody out. According to Peter Gray, while everybody was standing in the carpark wondering what to do next, the landlord had second thoughts about the loss of revenue over the weekend and readmitted everyone except Bertie.